Monthly Archives: March 2012

The Scale Says What! … Conversations in the Journey

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Sometimes the best conversations happen in those moments when we least expect them.  As I share my journey with friends and strangers alike, I am being blessed by some of the most engaging conversations.  Many conversations I am having with myself…what is that saying -“One advantage of talking to yourself is that you know at least somebody’s listening.” [Franklin P. Jones]

As I go through this journey, there is a ton of time I spend talking to myself – and for the first time in years – I am listening too.  As I listen, I am creating new conversations.

Some conversations are simple reminders…such as ‘Donna, you need to think about the day ahead’ is my reminder that I can’t eat on the run like I used to and I need to schedule time to eat so I am not rushing through my food experiences.  Or “put it on the calendar” is my way of keeping myself accountable for exercising and taking care of myself.  Here is a good one – ‘slow down and enjoy the moment’ translate to relax, it is okay to take your time.

Recently, Bryan Dodge and I were discussing my journey.  He asked me a very poignant question:  What do I see and where do I see myself in two years?  As  Bryan said, ‘you are hearing what others are saying about your transformation’ but ‘what are you seeing’?  Bryan, you do challenge me sometimes.

Right now, I am not sure what I see.  Physically, I see the changes happening – smaller waist (under 40″ for the first time in YEARS!), a chin line – didn’t even know I had one, a neck line – wow that was a new discovery! and smaller clothes – that is getting expensive!  BUT the challenge in a journey like this is what one sees in their mind’s eye when they look in the mirror…I struggle with the image that I have carried with me for so long – the person who used to carry 278 # around. 

As I am now 3 months post surgery and officially 65# lighter – so close to breaking the 200# barrier – I am slowly and I mean slowly making a shift in what I “see” in the mirror. 

With that shift in my image also comes a shift in my confidence…I believe more in who I am as a person; I am more confident when I speak; I am put forth a more positive energy when I walk into a room/space – and most importantly, I know that I am on the right journey. 

Part of the journey is also asking for help – and seeking it out – I have recently discovered my health insurance provides a health and wellness coach who has the training to work with bariatric surgery patients.  So twice a month, I will be on a call with my new coach. 

Nothing stands in the way of attending my support groups as it is there that I continue to learn new ideas or skill sets to be successful on this journey.

Back to the question…where do I see myself in two years?  I don’t know yet BUT this much I do now right now…I will be in a new chapter of my journey and I will be much healthier, smaller and even more confident.  So Bryan and the others who ask this question, I will revisit this question as I start to see where I am heading and what I am seeing. 

Keep watching…you won’t be disappointed.

P.S. My new listening material…Making the Shift by Dr. Wayne Dyer ”

“The Shift” is a call to become more conscious, to move from aimless Ambition . . . to Meaning and purpose.

P.P. S My other re-read “Becoming the Obvious Choice” by Bryan Dodge and David Cottrell “It is your responsiblity to know and understand your talents, values and desires.”

 

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The Scale Says What! March Musings

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Surprises can be nice…and fun…recently I went back to Columbus to see friends, many of whom, were not aware that I had began this journey to have a healthier lifestyle…at Gregg Dodd’s Ugly Sweater Party.  I had purposely not posted pictures of the “new” me on Facebook so there would be the element of surprise.  Or was it that I wanted to hear them praise and congratulate me?  Probably a bit of both.

When I started this journey, I thought I would not enjoy friends commenting, congratulating, asking questions or even acknowledging the physical changes that they could see.  However, 2+ months post surgery and I am finding that this is one area that I can be encouraged.  While still not great at accepting compliments, I do have a sense of “wow, I am doing this journey successfully” when people acknowledge the work I am doing for myself.  I do have to be careful not to get on a soapbox about nutrition and labels when people ask questions about surgery or the how much I am eating – it is exciting for a couple of minutes but not 30 minutes.

I am of the opinion that humans crave (and I am sure there is science out there to back up my humble opinion), consciously or unconsciously, praise and acknowledgement.  I think back to my childhood and when I wanted attention – I acted out by being a brat, doing something I knew I wasn’t supposed to do, etc. – that resulted mostly in negative attention but nonetheless it was attention.  As adults, we still want attention, approval and acknowledgement.  And when we don’t get it we find other ways to get/give ourselves attention

Let me give you an example from my own life…I have found through this process that outwardly I displayed a lot of confidence.  However, inwardly, I was not as confident as I acted.  Results:  I second guessed myself, I made snap decisions, I “took control” and “fixed” things [whether they needed to be fixed or not – I “always” knew a better way].  Consequences:  I got attention – most times not positive attention, I have been passed over for promotions, I haven’t advanced as far in my career as I would like, I had to buy bigger clothes to cover up the weight, health issues developed, I was exhausted all the time – this created other results:  This negative attention “confirmed” my fears and thoughts – I wasn’t good enough, smart enough or pretty enough to succeed…that then created a different set of consequences – I ate in an unhealthy manner, probably (well matter of fact) drank too much at certain times and basically didn’t care.  As you can see, it is a very vicious circle! On December 13, I broke my circle!

So, today, I acknowledge that I haven’t been so good to myself for several years.  I am proud that I am taking control of my life and going on a journey that will forever change my emotional, physical and spiritual mindset.  I care about me.

As I was sharing with a friend recently about some of my struggles to ‘get it right’ [my schedule, eating, etc].  He gave me an excellent (a big “A Ha” moment for me) suggestion…think of this as an event and create a daily ‘run of show’ for myself. How brilliant!  Thank you MA!  You are the best!

See it is about having a supportive circle of friends and family that will get you through…so if you are reading this and thinking about changing your destiny by having bariatric surgery or changing your lifestyle to be more healthy…go for it!  Surround yourself with supportive people – chose your support group carefully and engage them in your journey.  By the way, your support group does not have to include your blood relatives – it is nice if they are on board – but do this for yourself and you alone! 

Here is the new look of one proud girl…

Me, Lori, Megan, Gregg and Diana - we all ditched our ugly sweaters...thank goodness mine didn't come home with me - donated for a good cause.